Yo dont text me then not text me
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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