Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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