Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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