plz talk dirty to me
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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