So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
