i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
