Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
