are you still at the devil's house?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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