I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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