i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I smell like Dick and happiness
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
