whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
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Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
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BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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