It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
false alarm, still single
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