barbara walters just said penis...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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