Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
