my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
