When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
