Sry I called you an 8
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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