My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you had me at cake vodka
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You may now shotgun with the bride
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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