I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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