You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
