i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
