It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
