...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
