How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize