we have pet lesbian snakes
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
