One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
