This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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