new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
