yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
