how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
