i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
