I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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