if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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