it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
