Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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