I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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