Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
