We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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