I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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