I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
