Your tits are I can't wait for
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
