Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
