i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My feet surprised me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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