i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
