Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
