we're blogging at a bar
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
