they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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