so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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