every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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