I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
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My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
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I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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