She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
