Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
