Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?