No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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