ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I need water and some morals
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
