Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize