is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
