and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
