She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
