guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
