Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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