I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Let's get the cat blown out
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
