Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
